Grief is a natural response to loss. When a loved one dies, it can be hard for children and adults alike to deal with their feelings.
Children may show their grief in other ways, such as anger or withdrawal. In order to help your child cope with the loss of a loved one, you must first identify the way they are expressing their grief so that you can respond appropriately.
Here are 10 ways you can help your child cope with the loss of a loved one:
| Takeaways |
|---|
| Grief and loss can be especially difficult for children to process, but parents and caregivers can provide essential support. |
| Talking to children about death and grief is an important part of helping them cope with loss. |
| Grieving with children can be a unique and challenging experience for parents and caregivers, but there are strategies to help them navigate the process. |
| Supporting a child through grief can be an emotional and challenging experience, but there are many ways to help them cope. |
| Additional resources and support are available to help parents and caregivers support children through the grief and loss process. |
Let Them Share Their Feelings With You
When your child is experiencing the loss of a loved one, it’s important to let them know that it is OK to feel sad, angry or confused. Start by letting them know that you understand how they are feeling. For example, you could say: “I bet it’s hard for you to believe that Grandpa passed away.”
As your child talks about their feelings, don’t try to fix their emotions or tell them how they should feel. Instead let them know that their emotions are normal and encourage them to share more about what they are feeling in the moment.
Also avoid telling your child that “they are too young” or “they just don’t understand” because this will just cause confusion and frustration with themselves and others around them as they continue through life after experiencing such an immense loss at such a young age.
Grief can be especially difficult for children to process, but parents and caregivers can provide essential support. Our guide on supporting children through grief provides practical tips and strategies to help children navigate this challenging time.” – Supporting Children Through Grief: A Guide for Parents
Be Honest
It can be tempting to “fix” your child’s pain by offering empty promises or fabricating stories about their lost loved one. But this only serves to confuse them, and they will likely come back later with more questions that you won’t know how to answer.
Instead, let them know that it is okay for them to feel sad and scared about the loss of their loved one. It is also okay for you not to know how they feel (since no two people experience grief in exactly the same way).
Acknowledge these feelings so that your child feels validated, then express your love for them and all the good things in their life the activities or friends they enjoy, etc. to show that there are still many reasons why life is worth living!
| Ways to Be Honest |
|---|
| Listen and answer their questions truthfully |
| Use simple and age-appropriate language |
| Avoid euphemisms that may confuse the child |
| Be prepared for spontaneous conversations |
| Allow the child to express themselves without judgment |
Listen to Them
Listen to what they are saying. Don’t interrupt, don’t judge and don’t offer advice unless asked for. You may have had your own experiences with loss and grief, but your child will have their own unique way of dealing with the situation.
Don’t tell them how you would feel in their situation. Your child has enough on their plate without feeling like they need to live up to expectations, so let them know that it’s okay for them not to act the way you might expect them too.
Don’t tell them about other people’s experiences either – this can be overwhelming for someone who is already struggling with their emotions!
Talking to children about death and grief can be daunting, but it’s an important part of helping them cope with loss. Our guide on how to talk to your child about death and grief provides practical advice and strategies to help parents have these difficult conversations.” – How to Talk to Your Child About Death and Grief
Validate Their Fears, Concerns and Emotions
Your child is experiencing a lot of different feelings, and you can make them feel even better by letting them know that you’re there for them. When a loved one dies, it’s normal for children to be sad or angry.
You can validate their fears, concerns and emotions by:
- Letting your child know that you understand what they are going through.
- Accepting their feelings as normal reactions to an abnormal situation.
- Validating their feelings instead of invalidating them (for example, saying “Well at least they were old” instead of “It’s not fair!”)
| Ways to Validate Their Fears, Concerns, and Emotions |
|---|
| Encourage them to express their feelings |
| Acknowledge their emotions and concerns |
| Avoid criticizing or belittling their thoughts |
| Respond with empathy |
| Provide reassurance and comfort |
Explain Death in Terms They Can Understand
Explain what death is. Death is the end of life, but it’s not the end of our existence. Our bodies are just an earthly vessel for our souls. When you die, your body remains on Earth for a while before it decomposes and returns to nature.
Explain that death is a natural part of life. We will all experience loss at some point in our lives our own or someone else’s and it’s important to understand that this process is normal and necessary for growth as people and as a society.
Explain what happens after someone dies: Their body decomposes into soil over time; their spirit moves on to another place where they can be reunited with loved ones who have passed before them (if they want)
Grieving with children can be a unique and challenging experience for parents and caregivers. Our guide on grieving with children provides practical advice and strategies to help parents support their children through the grief process.” – Grieving With Children: A Parent’s Guide
Help Your Child Honor Their Loved One
You will want to help your child understand that they are not alone in their grief. It is important that they know you are there for them and will support them through this difficult time, just as you would when they were younger.
It is also important that you don’t shy away from acknowledging the death or grieving process, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable or upset.
If your child sees that you are willing to face these feelings with them, then they may be more confident in talking about their own feelings with others around them (whether family members, friends or strangers).
Expressing grief can be challenging for adults too. If possible make sure your child knows that it is okay for them to cry when someone close dies; it does not mean there is something wrong with them but rather shows how much affection and love was felt between the deceased person and themselves.
Similarly, if someone else shows emotion relating to this issue – whether crying at a funeral service or speaking openly about their own loss – do not shun away from them either!
Keep Your Routine
The first of these is to keep your routine. Everyone thrives on structure, whether they are young or old, and children are no exception.
When you’re grieving the loss of someone close to you and your child is coping with grief as well, it’s important to make sure that every day has a familiar sequence of activities for them.
While there may be some flexibility in terms of what happens when for example, if there’s an appointment or something else that comes up the overall structure should remain unchanged throughout their day: breakfast at 7:30 AM; school from 8 AM until 12 PM; lunch from 12 PM until 1 PM; then after-school activities from 2 PM until 4 PM (and so forth).
This kind of consistency can help reduce stress levels by providing children with predictability when they otherwise might not have it. It also gives them confidence because they know what to expect each day and can start learning how to manage their time effectively within this framework (e.g., getting ready for school ahead of time).
Moreover, having a routine helps kids feel safe since it gives them stability during uncertain times; finally, having routines allows kids who are grieving the loss of someone close take part in something bigger than themselves (like school) which helps them have some sense of normalcy when everything else around them feels off balance.
Supporting a child through grief can be an emotional and challenging experience. Our guide on supporting your child through grief and loss provides practical tips and strategies to help parents and caregivers navigate this difficult time.” – 15 Tips for Supporting Your Child Through Grief and Loss
Practice Self Care
The first thing to do is make time for yourself.
This might seem counterintuitive, but it’s actually necessary for you to be able to take care of others.
When you’re busy and stressed, it can be hard to get through the day without feeling overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself will help you mentally and physically in ways that will be beneficial for everyone in your family.
Try some of these self care tips:
- Exercise regularly
- Spend time outside with nature
- Go out with friends and have fun without kids around (or even with them!)
| Ways to Practice Self-Care |
|---|
| Take care of your own emotional and physical well-being |
| Avoid overworking or overcommitting yourself |
| Seek support from family and friends |
| Consider talking to a therapist or counselor |
| Be patient with yourself and accept your limitations |
Be Patient and Flexible with Yourself
“Be patient and flexible with yourself,” says Dr. Meck. “You’re not going to make every decision right, nor will everything be perfect all the time. That’s OK.
You can always improve a situation later on, but if you get stuck in perfectionism when it comes to taking care of your family and friends or even just yourself you may miss out on the good things that come out of those situations as well.
Don’t forget that you’re not alone; other families are going through similar experiences right now.”
The good news is that there are many resources available to help children cope with loss as they grow up: schools offer support programs for children who have experienced loss; online communities such as GriefShare provide guidance and peer support; and specific organizations like The Compassionate Friends can offer advice in dealing with grief (see Resources below).
The key is making sure that both parents commit themselves to supporting their child’s recovery from loss by offering love and comfort whenever possible so the child knows he or she has someone who understands what he or she is going through.”
The loss of a loved one can be especially difficult for children, but there are ways to help them cope. Our guide on supporting children through the loss of a loved one provides practical tips and strategies for parents and caregivers to help children navigate this challenging time.” – Supporting Children Through the Loss of a Loved One
Seek Professional Help
Seek Professional Help. There is a lot of help available for your child, and you should not be afraid to ask for it. If you don’t know where to start looking, talk with your doctor or someone else who always has good advice.
You can also seek out referrals from other parents who have been in similar situations before and may have found something that worked well for their family. Your child is going through so much they need all the support they can get!
Conclusion
If you’re worried about how to help your child cope with the loss of a loved one, don’t be. There are many resources available to you and your child and they don’t have to be scary or sad.
You can use these tips as a starting point and feel free to adjust them as needed so that they work best for you and your family.
Further Reading
Here are some additional resources on helping children cope with grief and loss:
Talking to Your Child About Death: This article from KidsHealth provides guidance on how to talk to children about death, including tips for different age groups.
5 Ways to Help Kids Deal With the Loss of a Loved One: This article from All Pro Dad provides practical tips and strategies for helping children cope with the loss of a loved one.
FAQs
What is grief?
Grief is the emotional response to loss, often characterized by feelings of sadness, loneliness, anger, and confusion.
What are the stages of grief?
The stages of grief, as described by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s important to note that not everyone experiences these stages in the same way or in the same order.
How can I help someone who is grieving?
Offering emotional support, listening without judgment, and providing practical help (such as running errands or making meals) are all ways to support someone who is grieving. It’s also important to let them know that you are there for them and willing to help in any way you can.
My name is Hellen James. I’m a grief and loss recovery expert who has helped people across the country to move beyond their grief and move forward with their lives.
