Finding Strength in Community: How to Build a Support System After a Loss

In the weeks and months after a loss, it can be hard to know how to grieve. You may feel like you’re in a fog, or like your life has been turned upside down.

But as time passes and things begin to settle down, you’ll find yourself experiencing waves of grief moments when everything seems unbearable and then periods when you feel more normal again.

Just as importantly, you’ll also begin to see ways that your support system (family members, friends) can help lift you out of those dark moments.

This guide will help point those out while offering tips on how to build community around yourself during times of sorrow so that healing can take place sooner rather than later.

Mental Health Support Systems

Takeaways
Building a support system is important during times of grief and loss.
Friends, family members, and support groups can provide emotional and practical support.
It’s important to communicate your needs and be open and honest about your feelings.
Self-care practices, such as exercise and mindfulness, can help with coping.
Everyone’s grief journey is unique, and it’s important to allow yourself to feel and process your emotions.

Allow Yourself To Grieve

Grief is a natural process, and it’s important not to ignore or suppress your feelings. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without shame you don’t have to be happy 24/7.

Feelings of sadness, anger, and numbness are normal parts of grief that need space and time in order to fade away on their own.

If you find yourself struggling with these negative emotions, remember that it’s okay for them to exist within you; simply acknowledge them without judging them (or yourself) as “bad” or “wrong.”

Building a strong support system is crucial for coping with grief and loss” – Grief and Loss: The Importance of Having a Support System

Remember That Grief Comes In Waves

You may have heard the saying that grief comes in waves. This is true! Grief is the natural response to loss, and it can take time for those waves to subside in order for you to start feeling more like yourself again.

You’re not going crazy when you feel sad one day and happy another; it just means your emotions are fluctuating as they try to find balance once again.

It’s also important not to compare yourself or your loved ones with others who have gone through similar experiences or have expressed their feelings differently than yours are at a given time.

Everyone deals with grief differently, so make sure that you allow yourself the space for self-care during this difficult time (refer back here if necessary).

Wave	Characteristics	Coping Strategies
1	Intense feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, or despair	Accept your feelings and express them in a safe, healthy way. Journal, talk to a friend, or see a therapist.
2	Physical and emotional exhaustion	Take care of yourself, both emotionally and physically. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, and avoid alcohol and drugs.
3	Reorganization of life without the person or thing you’ve lost	Find new activities, routines, or hobbies that bring you joy. Make space for your grief while also finding things to look forward to.
4	Acceptance and growth	Integrate your loss into your life in a way that feels healthy and respectful. Use your experience to help others who are going through similar struggles.

Know Your Needs And Communicate Them

Be specific. When you communicate your needs, be as clear and specific as possible. For example, instead of saying “I’m lonely,” say “I need someone to be with me while I go through this.”

Ask for help. Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from asking for what you want or need from others. If family members or friends offer an olive branch, take it!

Don’t feel guilty about asking for help—it’s normal under these circumstances to seek out support from loved ones and friends who can relate to what you’re going through right now.

Create Your Own Rituals Of Closure

Creating your own rituals of closure is an important step in the process of healing. You can create a ritual for yourself, or you can create one for your family as a whole.

It’s important to pick something meaningful to you and your loved ones, so that it has meaning beyond simply being “something that was done.”

Some ideas are:

A physical action like lighting candles or placing flowers by the grave site once a month

A mental action such as taking 5 minutes every morning to remember what happened and how you’re feeling (this could be helpful if you’re feeling overwhelmed)
Something specific like making pancakes every Saturday morning at 8 AM in memory of Grandpa’s favorite meal

Stay Connected With Your Friends

Be open about what you are going through. Tell your friends how you’re feeling and let them know what kind of support you need.

Don’t be afraid to say that sometimes you just want to be left alone, but other times it would really help if someone could come over for a cup of tea or some company. Knowing your needs will help your friends understand how best to approach this difficult time in your life.

Creating a supportive network of friends and family can help you navigate the challenges of grief” – Creating a Supportive Network After a Loss: Tips and Strategies

Join A Grief Support Group

Support groups are a great way to connect with others who have experienced loss.
You’ll feel less alone in your grief and you’ll find that there are many other people struggling with the same challenges as you.

Groups can help you learn how to cope with your loss, understand that it’s normal to grieve, and give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up while grieving.

Wave	Characteristics	Coping Strategies
1	Intense feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, or despair	Accept your feelings and express them in a safe, healthy way. Journal, talk to a friend, or see a therapist.
2	Physical and emotional exhaustion	Take care of yourself, both emotionally and physically. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, and avoid alcohol and drugs.
3	Reorganization of life without the person or thing you’ve lost	Find new activities, routines, or hobbies that bring you joy. Make space for your grief while also finding things to look forward to.
4	Acceptance and growth	Integrate your loss into your life in a way that feels healthy and respectful. Use your experience to help others who are going through similar struggles.

Keep A Grief Journal And Write About What You’re Going Through

A grief journal is a great place to start your healing process. Writing can help you process and work through emotions, so it’s a good idea to keep a journal of thoughts as they come up.

You can use it to share how you’re feeling with family members or friends who are close to you, but be sure not to send it out into the world; this is for your eyes only.

The best thing about writing about what’s going on in your life is that there is no wrong way of doing it.

You can write about anything from “I saw the sunset today and it was beautiful” all the way up through “I’m having trouble breathing because my sister died.” As long as you’re putting your feelings down on paper (or screen), then that’s all that matters!

Engage In Creative Expression To Process Your Feelings

Once you’re ready to engage in creative expression, it can be helpful to remember that there are many different types of creative outlets to explore.

Art therapy is a well-known form of creative expression that can help people express their feelings through drawing, painting or sculpting.

If art isn’t your thing, writing may help you process your emotions and build a stronger understanding of the pain you’re experiencing by putting words on paper.

Other forms of creative expression include photography, dance and music (playing an instrument), acting or performing skits and poetry readings.

You may also enjoy creating crafts like knitting or sewing as a way to express your feelings about loss.

It’s important not only to choose an outlet that feels good for you but also one that has meaning for you personally it’s unlikely anyone else will be interested in seeing all the pictures of cats I’ve drawn over the years!

Learn From Others’ Experiences

When you feel alone, it’s easy to think that you’re the only one who has lost someone. But as soon as you start talking about your loss with others, you realize how common it is.

You’ll learn that many people have experienced similar losses and been able to find strength in their communities.

It can be helpful to hear from them what they’ve learned about themselves and how they’ve overcome their grief.

They may even have some tips on how to cope better with certain aspects of your own experience and they can provide valuable perspectives that helps put everything into perspective again when things become overwhelming or confusing.

Do Something Good For Someone Else

Giving back is a great way to take your mind off of your own loss and help others who have experienced the same thing.

Even if you’re not ready to talk about what happened, there are plenty of ways you can still make an impact on the lives of those around you.

Here are some good deeds that will make an impact:

Give people space and time. This is especially important for those who have lost someone close to them, but even those who haven’t experienced a loss will appreciate being given space when they need it most.

Ask how they’re doing and really listen when they answer! Sometimes we want our friends to tell us exactly what we want to hear, but sometimes it’s better just to listen without saying anything at all (unless asked). A simple “I’m so sorry” goes a long way!

Action	Benefits	Examples
Volunteer	Connect with others, feel good about helping, gain new skills or experience	Tutor a child, serve meals at a soup kitchen, clean up a park
Donate	Make a difference without leaving your home, support a cause you care about, feel good about giving	Give to a local charity, fundraise online, support a crowdfunding campaign
Perform a random act of kindness	Boost your mood and someone else’s, spread positivity and joy, feel more connected to your community	Compliment a stranger, leave a surprise note for a friend, buy a meal for someone in need

Stay Active And Healthy

The benefits of staying active and healthy are numerous. Exercise can help reduce stress, improve sleep, and increase your mood. It can also help prevent weight gain, which is important if you’re trying to cope with the loss of a loved one by eating more than usual.

Eating healthy food may be difficult in the wake of trauma or grief; however, avoiding junk food helps maintain mental health and physical health as well. Be sure to eat a balanced diet that includes fruits and vegetables!

Avoid too much sugar or caffeine as these will have adverse effects on your body’s ability to recover from traumatic events like losing someone close to you.

Find A Way To Let Go

To find the strength to move forward, you’ll need to let go of the past. Let go of the guilt that tells you how much better a parent your spouse would have been than yours was. Let go of any anger toward yourself or other people that causes resentment.

Let go of fear that keeps you from moving forward and finding joy again in life. And finally, let go of sadness in order to experience joy again as well.

Conclusion

Remember that we all grieve differently and at our own pace. And when we’re grieving, it’s okay to feel bad about feeling bad which is why it’s so important to build a support system.

The people in your life can help lift you up and keep you going when life gets tough, but only if you let them know what you need from them.

Remember that there are many ways to express yourself creatively or connect with others who have similar experiences; just find one or two activities that resonate with your needs during this time.

Finally: don’t forget that taking care of yourself physically is just as important as taking care of yourself emotionally so make sure you’re getting plenty of rest, eating well-balanced meals three times daily (even when they aren’t exactly what you want), exercising regularly (including breathing exercises!), drinking lots of water each day…and most importantly?

Letting go will bring peace into your life regardless of how long it takes for closure!

FAQs

What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It can involve a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. The process of grieving is unique to each individual and can take time.

How can I cope with grief?

Coping with grief involves finding ways to process and express your emotions, as well as building a support system to help you through the difficult time. Self-care practices, such as exercise and mindfulness, can also be helpful.

What is a support system?

A support system is a network of people who offer emotional and practical support during difficult times. This can include friends, family members, support groups, and mental health professionals.

How can I build a support system?

Building a support system involves identifying people in your life who can offer support, reaching out to them, and being open and honest about your needs. Joining a support group or seeking professional help can also be helpful.

Is it normal to feel different emotions during the grieving process?

Yes, it is normal to experience a range of emotions during the grieving process. Emotions may come and go in waves and can include sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. It is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and seek support when needed.

Hellen James

My name is Hellen James. I’m a grief and loss recovery expert who has helped people across the country to move beyond their grief and move forward with their lives.