This is a very personal topic for me. I lost my mother when I was 19 years old, and it changed my life forever.
As a young woman, though, it’s easy to feel like you don’t know how to grieve. You want to do the right thing but at the same time feel like there is no right way.
My goal with this post is not only to share some of the things that helped me through my grief process but also start a conversation about how we can all help each other through our losses as well as find meaning in them if possible because finding meaning in death isn’t morbid; it’s an important part of being human!
| Takeaways |
|---|
| Finding purpose and meaning after experiencing grief and loss is possible |
| Building a strong support system can help individuals navigate the grieving process |
| Mindfulness can be a helpful tool for coping with the pain of loss |
| It’s important to take care of oneself while grieving |
| Personal growth and transformation are possible after experiencing loss |
1. Make An Action Plan
Break down your goals into smaller tasks, and set deadlines for each one. Then start working on them in order of importance.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your list of projects, focus on one task at a time until it’s done before moving on to the next one.
This will help you feel more productive, and keep you from becoming overwhelmed by all those open-ended tasks in front of you!
Don’t forget to reward yourself with praise when reaching milestones or completing goals; this will keep up motivation along the way!
“During times of grief, having a strong support system can make all the difference. Check out our tips and strategies for building a supportive network after a loss to find the strength you need to move forward.” – Creating a Supportive Network After a Loss: Tips and Strategies
2. Start A Journal
As you reflect on your feelings, it’s important to write them down. A journal is a powerful tool that can help you process emotions and make sense of what you’re feeling.
There are many different ways to use a journal, but there are some basic guidelines:
- Write in your journal every day for example, each morning or evening. It should be something that is consistent for all days of the week and not just reserved for special occasions.
- Keep your entries concise; don’t expect each entry to be extremely detailed or lengthy (it’s okay if they are at times). This will help prevent writer’s block from occurring and keep things interesting as time passes by.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Helps to organize and clarify thoughts | May initially trigger difficult emotions |
| Provides an outlet for emotions | Requires dedication and consistency |
| Aids in identifying patterns and triggers | May feel overwhelming at first |
| Encourages self-reflection and growth | May require vulnerability |
3. Reach Out For Support
When you’re in the thick of a loss, it can seem impossible to see beyond the fog. Reflection is important, but so is reaching out for support.
If you feel comfortable doing so, talk to friends and family members about how you’re feeling. The people closest to us often know us best and they might have some useful insights as well as a shoulder to lean on when needed.
If there’s someone who hasn’t been around much lately, that’s okay; they may just need some time to process what they’ve heard before being able to offer their support in any meaningful way.
If talking isn’t your thing (or if you don’t have anyone around who can provide this sort of support), consider going through an online grief forum like GriefShare or Surviving Bereavement; these sites offer weekly meetings where participants share their experiences with each other and receive guidance from trained volunteers.
“The power of a support system during times of grief cannot be underestimated. If you or someone you know is struggling with loss, check out our guide on how to build a support system for grief and loss to find the help you need.” – 10 Ways to Build a Support System for Grief and Loss
4. Honor Memories in Unique Ways
- Try keeping a journal or writing letters.
- Display photos of your loved one in frames around your home, or create a scrapbook of their life and stories.
- Consider making a memory box full of items that remind you of them: a stuffed animal, old toys, or even an old T-shirt they might have worn regularly.
- Create a video about your loved one and share it with the people who were close to him/her on their birthday each year as an annual tradition.
- Write blog posts about him/her—and share them with others online so more people can learn about this person’s life and legacy.
To memorialize the life of someone who has passed away in unique ways:
5. Take Time to Grieve
After a loss, you will experience a wide range of emotions. You may feel sad, angry and guilty at various points during your grieving process. It is important to acknowledge these feelings without judging yourself for them.
While it’s normal to feel all of these things when grieving, it also means that you are feeling something in response to your loss!
This is why it’s important not only to take time out by yourself but with others as well—especially those who have been through similar situations themselves or have gone through similar experiences in the past.
Not only does this help support you in times where self-care might be difficult; it helps other people understand what it’s like for someone else going through a difficult time as well (a close friend/relative).
“Finding peace and solace after experiencing loss can be challenging, but mindfulness can help. Explore our mindfulness exercises for coping with grief and loss to learn how to use this powerful tool to navigate the pain of loss.” – Finding Peace and Solace through Mindfulness
6. Educate Yourself On Your Loss
Reflecting on what you’ve experienced can help you make sense of the loss and its impact on your life.
It can also help you learn more about what resources are available to support you during this time, as well as how to navigate the system of benefits, programs and services that are designed to help people like you.
For example:
Know Your Rights – Many people do not know their rights when it comes to bereavement leave, or even whether they qualify for it at all.
Find out if your employer offers bereavement leave (or any other support) in the event of a death by checking their employee handbook or contacting them directly through email or phone call (if possible).
If this information is not offered in either place then ask someone who works there! There may be policies in place but not made clear for employees so make sure everyone knows about it before something happens and there’s no chance for planning ahead – especially since some businesses only offer very limited days per year.
| Benefits of educating yourself | Examples of resources |
|---|---|
| Can help you understand your emotions and grieve more effectively | Books, online articles, support groups |
| May help you find a sense of control during a difficult time | Therapy sessions, workshops, seminars |
| Can provide you with helpful tools for coping with loss | Podcasts, documentaries, online courses |
7. Find Ways to Help Others
Volunteering your time and skills to a local charity is another way to give back. Many organizations benefit from volunteers who can answer phones, help with mailings, or assist in other ways that reduce their overhead costs.
You might not have considered volunteering as a way to do good in the world, but it’s an option worth considering when you’re looking for ways to find meaning after a loss.
Some people are able to donate blood regularly because they are healthy enough and meet all of the eligibility requirements. If you’re interested in donating blood—either on an ongoing basis or once a year you can check out this site from the American Red Cross for more information about how you can help save lives in this way
“Overcoming a breakup can be a difficult and painful process. If you’re struggling to find your way out of the dark, check out our guide on how to find joy and purpose in the face of loss to learn how to move forward with hope.” – Finding Your Way Out of the Dark: Overcoming a Breakup
8. Don’t Compare Your Grief To Others
It’s natural to want to compare your grief to others’ experiences. When you feel like you’re not moving forward, comparing yourself with someone who has processed their loss more quickly can be helpful.
But if you feel stuck in your process and don’t know how to move forward, it can be harmful for you. In this case, comparing yourself or your situation can be counterproductive because the other person may have made massive life changes or had a different kind of loss than yours (e.g., losing a spouse versus losing a parent).
As tempting as it is to compare yourself with others during times of grief and loss, it’s important that we resist doing so. Instead of comparing our griefs against one another’s experiences, we should focus on healing as individuals while being mindful of what works best for us individually.
9. Focus on the Love, Not the Pain
I often think about the last time I saw my mother. It was in a hospital room, and she was lying so still on her bed.
She had been unresponsive for more than 24 hours, but she was still alive because of the machines connecting her to life support.
I sat by her side, holding her hand and talking to her softly as we waited for family members to arrive before we took Mom off life support and let her go peacefully into death.
As I sat there silently holding my mother’s hand, tears streaming down my face and falling onto hers — something changed inside me that day:
My focus wasn’t on how painful this moment was; it was on remembering how much love our family shared with one another over the years. We were all there together at this difficult time in our lives; everyone who loved Mom came through for us at what would be one of her final moments with us here on earth.
| Ways to focus on love | Examples |
|---|---|
| Practice gratitude for the time you had with your loved one | Make a scrapbook of happy memories |
| Celebrate their life by doing something they enjoyed | Cook their favorite meal or take a trip they always wanted to go on |
| Take comfort in the love and support of family and friends | Attend a support group, talk to a therapist or connect with loved ones virtually |
10. Look for Meaning in your Loss
Start by looking for the lessons in your loss. If you can’t find any, ask yourself what meaning this experience gave you.
What did it teach you about yourself and about life? How did it change who you are as a person, and how might that change make a difference in future events or experiences?
Once you’ve found some meaning, consider how to use this lesson going forward. Can it help guide decisions in other areas of your life? Could there be an opportunity coming up where having this lesson will be useful?
Do the same with each aspect of the experience, whether it was positive or negative: whether there were lessons learned, moments of growth or self-discovery each one has potential value if only we give ourselves permission to recognize them.
11. Let Yourself Feel All The Emotions That Come With Grief
Grief is a complicated thing. It can be difficult to understand and process, which can leave you feeling like you don’t know how to express yourself or deal with all of the feelings that come along with loss.
It’s ok if you cry, laugh, or just feel angry all of these emotions are a part of grief and it’s important that we allow ourselves to feel them fully so they don’t fester inside us until they explode into some kind of horrible event in our lives later down the road.
One way I cope with my own grief is by writing letters or poems about my loved ones who have passed away (I’ll share more about this in another post).
This helps me process my emotions in a positive way because I know that even though someone special has passed away from my life forever, their memory will always be alive within me!
“Building a support system after experiencing loss is crucial, but it’s also important to take care of yourself. Check out our guide on the healing power of self-care for grief to learn how to use self-care as a tool for healing and recovery.” – The Healing Power of Self-Care for Grief
12. Appreciate What You Have Instead Of Dwelling On What You Lost
There are two things you can do to help yourself. The first is to focus on the positive things in your life, and second is to avoid dwelling too much on what you have lost.
If you find yourself thinking about what you lost, try doing some of the following activities:
- Make a list of all the things that make up your daily routine. Write down everything from brushing your teeth at night to waking up in the morning and eating breakfast.
- Think about all the people who care about you; write them down as well. These could include friends, family members, or coworkers who would be there for you if something happened where they didn’t live close by anymore (like moving away).
- Look back over this list periodically throughout each day so that every day has new meaning for us which helps us remember how important it is not just survive but thrive!
Conclusion
I hope that this has been a helpful guide to getting started with your grief. It can be a tough journey, but I promise it’s worth it.
You are not alone in your mourning and there are many ways to move forward with your life.
Remember to take care of yourself along the way and keep reflecting on what you have learned from this experience so that you don’t miss out on any opportunities for growth while grieving over loss.
Further Reading
Here are some additional resources on finding purpose and meaning after experiencing grief and loss:
Finding Meaning and Purpose through Grief and Loss: This blog post explores how to find meaning and purpose after experiencing loss, and offers practical tips for moving forward with hope.
How to Find Purpose in Life After Experiencing Profound Grief: This article offers guidance on how to find purpose after experiencing profound grief, and provides insights on how to use your experiences to help others.
FAQs
What is grief and loss?
Grief and loss refer to the emotional and psychological pain that people experience after losing someone or something important to them. It can be triggered by various life events, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, or the loss of a job.
What are the stages of grief?
The stages of grief are a common framework for understanding the grieving process. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, it’s important to note that not everyone experiences grief in the same way, and the stages of grief are not always linear.
How can I cope with grief and loss?
There are many strategies for coping with grief and loss, including seeking support from friends and family, practicing self-care, engaging in therapy or counseling, and finding ways to honor and remember the person or thing that was lost.
How long does the grieving process last?
The grieving process is different for everyone and can vary based on the individual and the nature of the loss. It’s important to allow yourself time and space to grieve, and to seek help if you are struggling.
Can grief and loss lead to personal growth?
Yes, grief and loss can lead to personal growth and transformation. By processing and working through the pain of loss, individuals can gain new insights and perspectives, develop resilience and coping skills, and find new meaning and purpose in their lives.
My name is Hellen James. I’m a grief and loss recovery expert who has helped people across the country to move beyond their grief and move forward with their lives.
