It’s hard to believe that breakups happen to the best of us, but they do. It doesn’t matter if you’re a teenager or an adult, we all experience heartache at some point.
However, most people don’t know how to deal with these feelings and find it difficult to move on from their exes. If you want some advice on how to get over a breakup and find happiness again then read this article!
| Takeaways |
|---|
| 1. Healing after a break-up is a process that takes time and effort. It’s important to focus on self-care and seek support from others if needed. |
| 2. Finding ways to shift your mindset and set new goals can help you heal after a break-up and find happiness again. |
| 3. It’s common to experience a range of emotions after a break-up, including sadness, anger, and anxiety. Be patient with yourself and seek professional help if needed. |
| 4. Healthy ways to cope with a break-up include taking care of yourself, engaging in self-reflection, and finding new hobbies or interests. |
| 5. Moving on after a break-up is a process that requires self-compassion, patience, and a focus on personal growth and improvement. |
Give Yourself Time To Heal
As you heal, it’s important to give yourself time. You’ll still have feelings for your ex, but don’t be afraid to let them go.
Give yourself permission to grieve and move on with your life. If this is a hard concept for you, try writing down how you feel about the breakup in a journal or on a piece of paper. It will help you process the situation by getting it out of your head and onto paper where others can see it too.
Asking yourself what’s wrong with them can help ease some of the pain associated with heartbreak as well as any anger or bitterness that may arise from knowing they did something wrong and hurt you so badly!
“Healing after a break-up is a process that takes time and effort. By following these 10 steps to healing after a break-up, you can take control of your healing journey and move forward towards a happier future.” – 10 Steps to Healing After a Break-Up
Heal Your Heart First
After a breakup, it is tempting to try and fix everything at once. You should resist this urge! Instead, focus on healing your heart and mind first.
Do not rush into another relationship or fill the void with other things like shopping or social media. Do not try to replace your ex right away; it will only lead to more pain and suffering in the long run.
| Strategies | Description |
|---|---|
| Practice Self-Care | Engage in activities that make you happy and support your well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends. |
| Seek Professional Help | Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies. |
| Connect with Supportive People | Lean on friends and family members who can offer emotional support and understanding during this difficult time. |
| Express Your Emotions Through Writing or Art | Consider journaling or creating art as a way to process and express your feelings in a healthy and constructive manner. |
| Set Boundaries and Take Care of Yourself First | Don’t feel obligated to maintain contact with your ex or engage in behaviors that don’t serve your well-being. |
Ask Yourself What You Need
Ask yourself what you need to be happy and what you want from life. Think about what goals you have, and how you’re going to achieve them.
Try not to let your mind wander into the past or worry about the future. The past is over, and worrying won’t help anything. Focus on being present in this moment and letting go of any distractions that might get in your way of achieving happiness again.
Find A Support System
Having a support system is pretty much the most important thing you can do when you’re going through heartbreak.
Whether it’s relying on friends and family, attending therapy sessions, finding a counselor or group therapy, or joining an online support group any of these things will help keep you afloat and give you an outlet for expressing how you feel.
It can be so easy to get caught up in the emotions related to heartbreak that we forget about taking care of ourselves physically too!
One of the best ways I’ve found for doing this is by exercising regularly (be sure to check with your doctor before beginning any new exercise routine).
Exercise helps release endorphins into your body which can make us feel happier even if we don’t realize why at first. If possible try getting outside in nature because there are studies that show being around trees lowers blood pressure and stress hormones which then makes us happier people!
Cut All Contact With Your Ex For A While
If you’re looking for a quick way to get over your ex and move on, this is the best step. After all, it’s hard to recover from heartache when a reminder of them is constantly in front of you.
But cutting contact isn’t just about removing reminders, it also helps prevent arguments with your ex as well as other people who may want to rekindle the relationship for their own benefit.
You don’t want your emotions getting in the way of making good decisions during this time. It’s normal for them to fluctuate wildly from day-to-day and even hour-to-hour; however, these changes are usually temporary and will stabilize once enough time has passed since the breakup (this can take anywhere between three months up until a year).
“Overcoming a break-up can feel like navigating in the dark, but it is possible to find your way towards a brighter future. Our guide on finding your way out of the dark after a break-up provides practical tips to help you move forward towards a happier life.” – Finding Your Way Out of the Dark: Overcoming a Break-Up
Take Care Of Yourself
- Exercise
- Eat well
- Sleep well
- Take time to relax in a bubble bath, or do something that helps you unwind from your day-to-day stresses. This is your time to feel relaxed and cared for. Don’t let it be spent worrying about work or other responsibilities!
- Spend time with friends who are positive and supportive of you and your future plans (such as me!).
Accept That And Forgive Yourself For It
Accept that you are not perfect. You will make mistakes and it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. There is no need to beat yourself up over it or try to hide your mistakes from everyone around you because everyone makes mistakes, including the people you love most in the world.
At this point, I want to remind you of something very important: You are not alone. There are millions and possibly billions of people who have been through breakups and heartache before, just like you.
It doesn’t matter if your breakup was five minutes ago or five years ago; what matters is that you’re still here and there’s a reason for that!
This isn’t meant as a platitude either; there really is something inside all of us that drives us forward even when things look bleakest on our path ahead.
| Strategies | Description |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge Your Feelings and Experience | Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions related to the break-up. Recognize that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or hurt. |
| Practice Mindfulness | Learn to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. |
| Let Go of Resentment and Anger | Recognize that holding onto anger and bitterness only hurts you in the long run. |
| Cultivate Forgiveness | Try to let go of any grudges or bitterness you have towards your ex or yourself. |
| Practice Self-Compassion | Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, recognizing that you’re going through a difficult time. |
Don’t Rush Into A Rebound Relationship If You Are Not Ready
Don’t rush into a rebound relationship. If you are not ready and your ex is the only reason stopping you from dating, then it is time to move on. You will find someone who makes you happy and keeps your heart healthy and safe.
Do not use your ex as an excuse to avoid dating. If your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you because they did not want to be in a serious relationship with anyone right now, then why did they break up with you? Were there other problems in the relationship?
“When we experience loss, it can be difficult to find hope again. But hope is a powerful tool that can help us move forward towards healing and happiness. Check out our guide on finding hope after the loss of a loved one for practical tips to help you find hope and healing.” – Finding Hope After the Loss of a Loved One
Maybe it was due to financial reasons or maybe one person wanted children but the other didn’t want any at that time.
But whatever the case may be, do not use this as an excuse to avoid dating altogether because it can lead to more problems later on down the road when another person comes along who could potentially make their life even better than before!
Work On Having A Healthy Relationship With Yourself First
One of the most important things you can do to get over a break-up is to work on having a healthy relationship with yourself first. Whether it’s through therapy or simply learning how to be kinder and more compassionate toward yourself, establishing healthy boundaries is crucial during this time.
If you find that you are struggling with low self-esteem, negative thinking patterns or even have any sort of anxiety issues (and sometimes even if you don’t), I would recommend seeking out some sort of professional help from a therapist or similar resource.
Having someone who knows what they’re doing will help guide you through creating healthier habits and letting go of unhealthy ones until eventually those negative thoughts turn into positive ones!
Remember: You deserve good things in your life too! Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed; sometimes we need other people’s perspective on our situations more than we realize because we tend to see things so narrowly from our own point-of-view only which can cause us frustration later on down the road when we realize that there were actually other options available all along but they weren’t being considered because they seemed too far out there at first glance.
“Self-care is a powerful tool that can help us heal after experiencing grief and loss. Our article on the healing power of self-care for grief provides practical tips to help you take care of yourself during difficult times.” – The Healing Power of Self-Care for Grief
Learn From Your Past Mistakes In Relationships And Don’t Repeat Them
If you’re like most people, your past relationships have taught you a lot about what not to do in subsequent ones. Take some time to think about the reasons why your relationship ended and how you can apply this information in the future.
If there was something that was missing from your previous relationships, think about how to find that person and make sure they’re a part of your next relationship. It’s also important to recognize areas where you were successful, so that those good things can continue into other relationships as well.
In addition to thinking about what went wrong in past relationships and applying it toward future ones, it’s important to remember that this isn’t just about dating and romance; we all need friends who love us unconditionally AND will tell us when we’re doing something wrong (or being an asshole).
This might come from family members or close friends but perhaps even more importantly it could come from someone who’s met with adversity themselves (especially if their life experience has been similar).
“Finding support online after experiencing loss can be a great way to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences. Our article on finding support online after a loss provides practical tips to help you find the support you need to heal and move forward.” – Finding Support Online After a Loss
If You Have Children, Make Sure They Have What They Need To Deal With The Situation
If you have children, make sure they have what they need to deal with the situation. A child will naturally feel guilty and blame themselves for the breakup, but it is important that you reassure them that it is not their fault and make sure they don’t feel rejected by either parent.
You should also talk to your children about why the break up happened. This gives them a chance to ask questions about what has happened, which can help them come to terms with it more quickly and understand why their life is changing so much over a period of time when many things stay unchanged around them.
| Strategies | Description |
|---|---|
| Be Honest and Open with Your Children | Explain the situation in age-appropriate language and be open to answering their questions. |
| Validate Their Feelings and Experience | Let your children know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused about the break-up. |
| Maintain Consistency and Routine | Stick to regular schedules and routines as much as possible to provide a sense of stability and security for your children. |
| Allow for Open Communication | Encourage your children to share their feelings and ask questions, and be open to listening to what they have to say. |
| Work with Your Co-Parent to Make a Plan | Collaborate with your co-parent to make a plan for co-parenting that puts your children’s needs first and minimizes conflict. |
Take The Time To Learn New Things And Discover New Interests
The best way to get over a break-up is by taking the time to learn new things and discover new interests.
This will help you rekindle the flame of curiosity in your life that was probably extinguished during your relationship.
Make sure you have time to do this, though! If you’re not busy with work or other commitments, keep an eye out for opportunities like classes and workshops that would be fun for you. Some ideas include:
- Learning a musical instrument
- Taking improv comedy classes
- Learning how to cook Thai food (or whatever cuisine is most exciting for you)
Once you’ve found something that interests you, stay motivated by setting goals—whether they’re short-term (e.g., learning one song on guitar) or long-term (e.g., mastering the guitar). You can also keep yourself engaged by planning social activities around these activities; invite friends over after class or meet up with another student at the library between study sessions!
Come To Terms With Why The Relationship Ended And What You Could Do Better Next Time
This is a tough one and you may feel like you’re not ready to deal with it yet, but it’s an important step in being able to move on.
You need to acknowledge what happened, accept that it was your fault (or not), and learn from your mistakes so that next time around things will be different for the better.
A key part of this process is accepting that there were things about yourself or the relationship that were lacking; if something was wrong with how you treated each other, then take responsibility for fixing those flaws in yourself and finding someone who won’t put up with them either.
It’s also important not to blame yourself or your ex too much during this process—no matter how bad things got between the two of you, there are still some good memories from your time together!
Focus on those positive memories while remembering what went wrong without letting bitterness get in the way too much; if necessary, allow yourself some time away from people who can make this more difficult than it needs to be (e.g., family members who are constantly complaining about their own relationships).
Let Go Of Blame, Anger And Resentment If You Can. It’ll Only Weigh You Down
It’s easy to get angry with someone who has hurt you, but holding onto that anger will just make it harder for you to move on. It may be hard to release feelings like this but it’s important to do so if you want to find happiness again.
- You can’t control other people’s actions.
It may seem unfair that the person who hurt you doesn’t feel any remorse for what they did, but there are many reasons why someone might not express their remorse in the way that would make us feel better about ourselves.
Getting upset with them is not going to help anyone move forward from this situation.
Don’t let the past drag you down
Conclusion
With these tips in mind, you can get through this difficult time. Remember that it’s normal to feel hurt and sad, but keep in mind that your feelings will change over time.
It’s important not only to take care of yourself during this process but also try not to blame yourself for anything that went wrong with the relationship. Take some time off from dating if necessary until you feel like you’re ready again!
Further Reading
Here are some additional resources you may find helpful:
8 Ways to Feel Better After a Breakup: This article provides eight practical tips to help you feel better after a breakup, including ways to take care of yourself, connect with others, and find new hobbies and interests.
The Break Cure: 7 Ways to Heal and Find Happiness Again: This article provides seven practical tips to help you heal after a breakup and find happiness again, including ways to shift your mindset, focus on self-care, and set new goals for the future.
FAQs
What are some common emotions after a break-up?
After a break-up, it’s common to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and fear. It’s important to give yourself time to process these emotions and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.
How long does it take to heal after a break-up?
The healing process after a break-up is different for everyone and can depend on various factors, such as the length of the relationship, the nature of the break-up, and the individual’s coping skills. It’s important to be patient with yourself and focus on self-care during this time.
What are some healthy ways to cope with a break-up?
Healthy ways to cope with a break-up include taking care of yourself, engaging in self-reflection, seeking support from friends and family, and finding new hobbies or interests. It’s also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as excessive alcohol or drug use.
How can I move on after a break-up?
Moving on after a break-up can be a process that takes time and effort. Some healthy ways to move on include focusing on self-improvement, setting new goals, connecting with others, and practicing self-compassion. It’s important to be patient with yourself and prioritize self-care during this time.
When should I seek professional help after a break-up?
If you are struggling to cope with a break-up and it is interfering with your daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.
Signs that it may be time to seek help include experiencing intense or prolonged emotional distress, difficulty functioning at work or school, and engaging in risky or harmful behaviors.
My name is Hellen James. I’m a grief and loss recovery expert who has helped people across the country to move beyond their grief and move forward with their lives.
