When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s hard to imagine life without that person. You’re used to having them around, and it’s comforting to think that they’ll always be there for you.
But sometimes relationships end, and when they do, it can feel like your whole world is falling apart.
It’s normal to go through stages of grief when this happens, but there are ways that you can help yourself move forward after a breakup or divorce.
| Takeaway |
|---|
| Letting go of a past relationship is important for your emotional and mental well-being. |
| Healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with a past relationship include practicing self-care and seeking support from friends and family. |
| Moving on from a past relationship takes time and varies from person to person. |
| Focusing on the present and future can help you let go of the past and find happiness. |
| It’s important to process your emotions and memories in a healthy way to let go of a past relationship. |
Create New Memories
Creating new memories is a great way to move on from your past relationship. You can create new memories with friends, family, pets and even by yourself.
In fact there are lots of things you can do to create new memories that might surprise you.
For example:
Make a list of fun things you would like to do with your friends or family and then go out and actually do them! If there is something on the list that has been put off for a long time then it’s time for it now! You never know what might happen if you give it a try!
Take up an activity like cooking at home or going fishing with your dad so he doesn’t feel sad anymore about not seeing his sons more often than just once every few months because they are always working so hard without taking any breaks (even though they have been taking breaks all along).
This will make him feel better instead of feeling bad all the time now that he knows his boys love him deeply despite being apart most days.
“Healing after a breakup is a journey that requires patience, self-reflection, and self-care. Our guide on the 10 steps to healing after a break-up can help you navigate this difficult process.” – 10 Steps to Healing After a Break-Up
Cut Out The Reminders
Once you’ve broken the news to your ex, it’s time to take action. Now that your relationship is over, there are some things you can do to help yourself move on.
- Remove pictures of your ex from your phone and social media. This will help you remove them from the forefront of your mind as well as make it easier for other people to forget about them too.
Delete texts and emails from your ex. It may be tempting to keep these around so that if they ever come back into contact with each other, it will be clear who really meant what they said during those exchanges (or maybe because you’re just a glutton for punishment).
But there are plenty of other ways to stay connected with friends without having evidence of past relationships lying around everywhere!
You don’t want anyone stumbling across something they shouldn’t see while scrolling through their feeds or checking out old messages at home and neither does anyone else involved in this situation!
Be sure not only to delete what’s on hand but also prevent any new conversations from coming in by turning off notifications when possible – this way there won’t be any surprises down the line either way!
| Action | Description |
|---|---|
| Get rid of physical reminders | Remove photos, gifts, and mementos that remind you of the past relationship. |
| Avoid frequenting places that hold memories | Steer clear of places you and your ex used to visit together, at least for a while. |
| Unfollow or unfriend your ex on social media | Temporarily unfollow or unfriend them to avoid seeing their updates in your feed. |
| Delete text threads and emails | Remove any old messages and emails that could trigger memories of your past relationship. |
Plan A Trip
The next step is to plan a trip. You can go anywhere you want, whether it’s somewhere familiar or new, with people or by yourself. Here are some ideas:
- Plan a weekend getaway with family or friends.
- Work from home and take an extended vacation at no charge! Or just use your vacation days for this purpose (if you have them).
- Travel somewhere that has been on your bucket list for quite some time—it will feel like an escape from everything else going on in your life!
“Moving on after a breakup can be challenging, but it’s important to take care of yourself in the process. Discover the best ways to heal your heart after a break-up with our helpful guide.” – The Best Ways to Heal Your Heart After a Break-Up
Let Go Of The Fantasy
In order to let go of the past, you must first let go of the fantasy. That relationship that you think about, daydream about, and wish for? It’s not going to happen.
The person you are with now is not perfect and if they were perfect in every way imaginable, then there wouldn’t be any room for improvement.
They will never be able to give what this fantasy person can give because they do not exist outside of your headspace.
If a person hasn’t made their way into your life yet (or if it took them awhile), then that means there’s something about them that is preventing them from getting close enough for a relationship to form and it could very well be who they are as a human being rather than some superficial flaw or missing trait (because no one has everything).
It’s time to stop living in denial and start living as an adult!
| Action | Description |
|---|---|
| Recognize that the past relationship is over | Accept that the relationship is in the past and that it’s time to move on. |
| Avoid idealizing the past | Acknowledge that the relationship had its flaws and that it’s better to focus on building a better future for yourself. |
| Stop looking for closure | Accept that there may not be a clear-cut resolution or explanation for why the relationship ended. |
| Let go of any resentment or anger | Release negative emotions or resentment you may have towards your ex, and choose to forgive or move on. |
Stop And Breathe
In the moment, it can be very difficult to find the space to consider your actions and reactions from a distance. When your partner is hurting you or you’re angry at them, it’s hard to remember they are still human beings who deserve kindness and respect.
But when you spiral out of control due to lingering feelings of anger or frustration, those emotions will continue to color the way you see them forever and that’s not fair! Instead of lashing out by calling them names or telling them off on social media, take some time for yourself first.
Go for a walk outside (if possible), curl up in bed with some hot cocoa and Netflix—whatever works best for you!
Just give yourself permission to let go of these negative feelings so that later on down the road when things have settled down again between both parties there won’t be any lingering resentment.
“Overcoming a break-up can feel like finding your way out of the dark, but it’s possible with the right mindset and support. Our guide on finding your way out of the dark after a break-up can help you find hope and light again.” – Finding Your Way Out of the Dark: Overcoming a Break-Up
Give Yourself Time To Heal
It can take a long time for the wounds left by a past relationship to heal, and you shouldn’t rush this process.
Allow yourself time to lick your wounds and get back on your feet before you consider starting another relationship. If you feel like you’re ready for love again, remember not to be too hard on yourself if it doesn’t work out!
Do not compare yourself to others who seem happier or more confident than you in their own relationships this will only make things worse for you.
Instead of comparing yourself with other people, focus on how far along in your healing process you are now compared with how far along you were at the beginning of this article (or even when we last spoke). The main thing is that there’s always room for improvement within ourselves; don’t forget that!
When it comes down to it though, sometimes no matter how much time has passed or how many steps forward we make towards our goal of moving on from a painful past experience there will still always be some lingering feelings of guilt weighing us down along our journey towards self-improvement.
Stay Busy
Stay busy. This is the most important step in letting go of a past relationship. You need to stay active, focused and engaged in daily life so that you cannot be consumed by negative thoughts and self-pity.
When we are too busy, it takes up all of our energy and we do not have time to dwell on the past or worry about the future.
In addition to staying busy, you should also avoid looking back at old pictures or re-reading emails from your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend because this will only bring back bad memories which can cause you to feel sad or depressed again about the breakup.
It’s important for you to maintain an upbeat mood so that you can continue moving forward into a better future!
“Managing online relationships after experiencing loss can be tricky, but it’s important to prioritize self-care and set boundaries. Check out our 15 tips to managing online relationships after a loss to learn how to navigate the digital landscape of grief.” – 15 Tips to Managing Online Relationships After a Loss
However, if your ex was abusive towards you then this may require additional steps such as seeking professional help from a therapist before getting started with letting go – but even then it comes down largely upon finding healthy ways (such as those mentioned above) which allow us not only release our feelings but also truly move away from them so that they don’t hold us back anymore either emotionally nor physically when trying new things like meeting new people who might make great friends someday too!
Don’t Drink And Text
The next time you’re sitting on your couch and feeling like sending your ex a series of regrettable messages, think twice. Not only are people who drink and text more likely to do so, but they’re also more likely to get into some serious drama.
So don’t be that person or at least not yet. If you must send something (and sometimes, it’s worth it), wait until the next morning when you’ve sobered up and had some time to calm down and think things through first.
But maybe you don’t need to send anything at all! This is especially true if there’s any chance that the two of you will run into each other anytime soon:
You’d rather avoid drunk texting him about how much fun he missed out on last night or drunk dialing him in the middle of the night because you miss each other too much not to talk (even though he’s dating someone else).
| Action | Description |
|---|---|
| Avoid alcohol or other impairing substances | Drinking alcohol can lower inhibitions and lead to impulsive behavior, such as texting your ex. |
| Stay off social media when you’re under the influence | You’re more likely to post or send something you’ll regret later when you’re not in the right state of mind. |
| Let a friend be your “text filter” | Ask a trusted friend to read over any messages you want to send to your ex before you hit send. |
| Consider blocking your ex’s number | If you can’t trust yourself not to text your ex, consider blocking their number altogether. |
Keep It Together In Front Of Your Kids
Don’t let your children see you cry, even if they’ve done something to hurt or upset you. Crying is a private thing and kids don’t need to know about it.
Don’t let them see you drunk or high, because they will probably mimic those behaviors themselves later in life.
Don’t text your ex-spouse when the kids are around, as this can lead to unnecessary drama and confusion for them down the road when they get older and want answers from their parents about why things ended between you two.
If anything must be discussed regarding finances or child support payments during this time period, do so by phone instead of texting/email/social media platforms like Facebook Messenger etc..
“Finding joy and purpose after experiencing loss is a process that requires time, patience, and self-discovery. Discover how to find joy and purpose in the face of loss with our helpful guide.” – How to Find Joy and Purpose in the Face of Loss
Be Honest With Yourself About Your Feelings
It is important to be honest with yourself during the process of moving on from a past relationship. You need to be able to recognize your feelings and understand them.
If you are unhappy about something, do not pretend that things are great when they are not. If you want to move forward from this point in life, then it is important that you be honest with yourself and others around you so they can support what needs to happen next in order for growth and change to occur.
Be honest with yourself about how much time has passed since the breakup occurred as well as what stage of grief you have reached.
If there is still some lingering love or sadness, acknowledge it but focus on moving forward instead of wallowing in self-pity over what no longer exists – because nothing does exist at this point except for memories created during happier times that cannot be changed or made better once again simply by wishing hard enough!
Move To A New Place, Or Rearrange Your Living Space
Moving to a new place, or rearranging your living space, can help you let go of the past.
Moving to a new place can help you meet new people. If there are specific things that remind you of your ex and make it difficult for you to get over them, moving away from those things may be helpful.
Moving to a new place can give you the opportunity for a fresh start! Having this kind of change in your life will help you feel better about yourself and about where your life is going right now.
You can move to a new place by moving either:
- To another city – depending on how much stuff/resources are available at your current location (this option would probably require more planning).
Or:
- To another apartment (which may be easier since most cities have multiple apartments available).
Believe That You’ll Meet Someone New.
The first step to moving on is believing that you can. You have to believe in yourself, your ability to find love again and your right to happiness. If you don’t believe these things then it will be harder for you to get over a previous relationship.
Don’t let anyone tell you what happened was your fault or that it wasn’t meant to be; there are no guarantees in life but that doesn’t mean that everything has been written in stone or anything like that.
The only thing we can do is make the best out of our present situation and hope for the best when it comes down to finding love again.
I used to think I was always going through bad luck when it came down finding new people who are meant just because they never seemed interested in me outside of a few months before they would eventually start dating someone else after meeting them somewhere out at night which really sucks because sometimes I feel like there isn’t anything wrong with me but just maybe something else about how people perceive themselves after being hurt by someone else who didn’t care about them anymore (and vice versa).
Recognize The Good Qualities In Others Without Comparing Them To Your Ex.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other people, especially when you feel like you’re lacking a certain quality or skill. You might think, “I wish I was half as funny as my friend,” or “I wish I had half my coworker’s work ethic.”
But this type of thinking will only make you feel worse about yourself and your past relationship. Instead, focus on what makes you unique and valuable.
Remember that every person has strengths that others don’t have (even if they do seem similar).
Focus on the future instead of dwelling on the past. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting your ex; it means learning from them while looking forward beyond the breakup.
Think about how they made you feel happy or sad and use those feelings as motivation for moving forward with your life without them!
Set New Goals For Yourself
It’s important to focus on the future and what you want out of life, rather than dwelling on the past. If there are things that you’ve wanted to do but haven’t yet accomplished because of your relationship, now is your chance! Go out and try something new, whether it’s learning how to ride a bike or taking an improv class at a local theater.
If nothing comes to mind immediately, think about ways you could improve yourself as a person maybe take up meditation or join a gym.
The point is that if you can find any way at all where this breakup has given you an opportunity for change, then go ahead and seize it!
You deserve better than what was offered by your ex-partner (or lack thereof). And once again: Don’t compare yourself with them you’re better off without them anyway!
Working On Yourself Can Help You Let Go Of A Past Relationship
When we’re in a relationship, it’s easy to focus on someone else. We want the best for them and sometimes neglect ourselves. As you begin your journey of letting go of a past relationship, it’s important that you focus on yourself for awhile.
Do things that make you happy and allow yourself to get excited about your goals and dreams again. It’s okay if these things don’t necessarily involve dating at this moment in time; instead, focus on taking care of yourself by eating healthier food, working out more often or even spending time with friends who are supportive of where you are at in life right now.
If there is something specific that has been nagging away at the back of your mind lately then do some research into it – maybe even try writing down some ideas or thoughts about what could potentially happen next (note: this doesn’t mean predicting what will happen but rather just thinking through different scenarios).
Remember that life isn’t meant to be lived in limbo so take action towards moving forward rather than staying stuck in one place!
Conclusion
Hey, we know it can be tough. But this is a process, and you don’t have to do it alone. We hope these tips will help you move on from your past relationship, and if you need even more support than that, reach out to one of our therapists for free counseling (and yes, they are qualified to help with all types of relationships!).
Further Reading
If you found the information in this article helpful, you may also want to check out the following resources:
How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Peacefully Move On: This blog post offers additional tips and strategies for letting go of a past relationship and finding peace.
How to Move on from the Past in a Relationship: This article provides a step-by-step guide for moving on from a past relationship and focusing on the present and future.
FAQs
How do I let go of a past relationship?
There are many ways to let go of a past relationship, including practicing self-care, focusing on the present, and seeking support from friends and family. Check out our article for 10 steps to letting go of a past relationship.
Why is it important to let go of a past relationship?
Letting go of a past relationship is important for your emotional and mental well-being. Holding onto negative emotions and memories from the past can prevent you from moving forward and finding happiness in the present.
How long does it take to let go of a past relationship?
The amount of time it takes to let go of a past relationship varies from person to person and depends on many factors, such as the length and intensity of the relationship, the reason for the breakup, and individual coping mechanisms.
What are some healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with a past relationship?
Healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with a past relationship include practicing self-care, seeking support from friends and family, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and processing your emotions through journaling or therapy.
Can you be friends with an ex?
Whether or not you can be friends with an ex depends on the individual circumstances of the relationship and the reasons for the breakup. In some cases, maintaining a friendship with an ex can be beneficial, while in others it may be best to cut ties completely.
My name is Hellen James. I’m a grief and loss recovery expert who has helped people across the country to move beyond their grief and move forward with their lives.
